PS5 Pro to Be Bundled with Dildo Attachment for IconEra Fanboys to Ride
“This is a console specifically designed with our most hardcore fans in mind,” said PlayStation CEO Herman Hulst in a press release. We know that a $700 console with no games is a tough ask in this economy and that’s why we want to reward our most staunch supporters and defenders by finally giving them what they’ve always wanted from their PlayStation. So we’re proud to announce that all PS5 Pros will be bundled with a dildo attachment that hooks onto the console, finally allowing our biggest fans to ride their PlayStation.”
PlayStation fanboys onIconEraTwitter reacted extremely positively to the news.
It’s no longer a fantasy, Xbots can no longer tell us our PS won’t sleep with us.
Hulst was asked by a fan why they went with a dildo attachment instead of designing the console with a lubricated hole.
(...)
"a lubricated hole would allow them to screw us but we must always be the ones doing the screwing."
At press time, Sony has announced that gamers can buy the vibrator attachment for an additional $80 (EDIT: or 120€ if you're an European Pay Pig)