Friends, it's been a great day. It's now time to reflect on the actors involved in this shambolic soap opera and understand where they, and the industry are headed.
Jim Ryan
Massive balls on this man. He stood up to a company 20x the size of his own and won. A pay rise is certainly on the cards when you couple this with PlayStation's world beating financial performance.
Phil Spencer
A real dime store snake oil salesman, and completely inept in his role as head of Xbox despite having unprecedented access to Daddy Warbucks' warchest. Someone needs to take the blame for this failure and his head will roll before the year is up.
Brad Smith
You ain't slick, chief. A man whose law degree must've come from the same institution as Saul Goodman's, he got his prolix and lawyerly prostate pulverised by the hammer of Britannia. Will anyone take him seriously again? Likely to retain his position, but wheeling him out in front of crowds so he can embarrass himself like he did in the EU is out of the question.
A message to Xbox fans who supported the acquisition
Every single one of you who contributed to the deluded fanfare around this flop of an acquisition and spread lies and misinformation deserved this outcome. At least you'll still be able to play your XGS games on PC and Playstation when Xbox goes third party. There's no place for you here in the industry just as there's no place for Xbox. Sony won. However, it doesn't end there. I have but one request of you: That you read the first letter of each sentence in this paragraph back, including this coloned clause.
Speaking of colons: Eat shit.
Bobby Gropin Kotick
He may have secured the bag from Microsoft, but he's frayed the relationship with the golden goose. If there are business repercussions, Bobby's head will roll, too. If there aren't, he's lost access to his golden parachute and will be facing sexual harassment lawsuits pretty soon. Either way, couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
Lulu serves Memesbadly
A taste of the future
Salty Nutella
Why do Microsoft CEOs look like ballsacks? - Reuters
Will sadly survive the fallout here given the core business is doing swimmingly, but his exceedingly poor judgement in giving Xbox support will raise eyebrows.
Resetera
A forum that exudes a dastardly anal smell and has stacked their mod team with Xbox shills. They've been exposed for the deluded clowns they are and will no longer be revered or respected by industry figures, but will find new purpose as a source of energy for when the world switches from coal to copium to help solve the energy crisis.
Xbox
After the disastrous and unprecedented drop in hardware sales reported yesterday and a general stench about the brand, there's nowhere to go but down. This last ditch effort, having failed, means Xbox will very soon become a third party brand or expire entirely. The 70b earmarked for the acquisition is in NO WAY going into other Xbox investments. This was a case of right time, right place, and delicious outcome for Microsoft and Satya will not make the same mistake twice. I expect them to be third party by the end of the gen. Hardware may still be made to peddle gamepass, but their first party offerings will be on all platforms that can sustain them within 5 years to maximise software revenue and claw back some of the investment in Bethesda.
What are your predictions?
Jim Ryan
Massive balls on this man. He stood up to a company 20x the size of his own and won. A pay rise is certainly on the cards when you couple this with PlayStation's world beating financial performance.
Phil Spencer
A real dime store snake oil salesman, and completely inept in his role as head of Xbox despite having unprecedented access to Daddy Warbucks' warchest. Someone needs to take the blame for this failure and his head will roll before the year is up.
Brad Smith
You ain't slick, chief. A man whose law degree must've come from the same institution as Saul Goodman's, he got his prolix and lawyerly prostate pulverised by the hammer of Britannia. Will anyone take him seriously again? Likely to retain his position, but wheeling him out in front of crowds so he can embarrass himself like he did in the EU is out of the question.
A message to Xbox fans who supported the acquisition
Every single one of you who contributed to the deluded fanfare around this flop of an acquisition and spread lies and misinformation deserved this outcome. At least you'll still be able to play your XGS games on PC and Playstation when Xbox goes third party. There's no place for you here in the industry just as there's no place for Xbox. Sony won. However, it doesn't end there. I have but one request of you: That you read the first letter of each sentence in this paragraph back, including this coloned clause.
Speaking of colons: Eat shit.
Bobby Gropin Kotick
He may have secured the bag from Microsoft, but he's frayed the relationship with the golden goose. If there are business repercussions, Bobby's head will roll, too. If there aren't, he's lost access to his golden parachute and will be facing sexual harassment lawsuits pretty soon. Either way, couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
Lulu serves Memesbadly
A taste of the future
Salty Nutella
Why do Microsoft CEOs look like ballsacks? - Reuters
Will sadly survive the fallout here given the core business is doing swimmingly, but his exceedingly poor judgement in giving Xbox support will raise eyebrows.
Resetera
A forum that exudes a dastardly anal smell and has stacked their mod team with Xbox shills. They've been exposed for the deluded clowns they are and will no longer be revered or respected by industry figures, but will find new purpose as a source of energy for when the world switches from coal to copium to help solve the energy crisis.
Xbox
After the disastrous and unprecedented drop in hardware sales reported yesterday and a general stench about the brand, there's nowhere to go but down. This last ditch effort, having failed, means Xbox will very soon become a third party brand or expire entirely. The 70b earmarked for the acquisition is in NO WAY going into other Xbox investments. This was a case of right time, right place, and delicious outcome for Microsoft and Satya will not make the same mistake twice. I expect them to be third party by the end of the gen. Hardware may still be made to peddle gamepass, but their first party offerings will be on all platforms that can sustain them within 5 years to maximise software revenue and claw back some of the investment in Bethesda.
What are your predictions?
