[1]you do this by engaging in what kind of activities ?
[2]via Dialog Trees/ outcome in conversations and actions in the world
[3]you loot something via stealing, lock picking, stealing, finding items while exploring the world .
this is what i am realizing. that the hardcore Bethesda people are expecting more. (totally justifiable) and that is what it should be.
[4]because when i am listening to those people who like/love this game usually say "I am not really a Bethesda fan, or I have never been in to Bethesda games that much".
as i said in another post: The potential of this game is hindered by its outdated engine.
I numbered your individual points so I can reply easier.
1/3 - There is interaction between skill system and engaging activities in the world, but they don't synch up perfectly. Go back to Acrobatics as I mentioned, you can't engage with the world in this manner anymore. Even boost pack in Starfield, which seems closest in similarity to Acrobatics, has boring perks and development. You get more boost as you level it up, you recharge it faster as you level up. Part of this is due to lack of skill system itself (1-100) since with that you could increase prowess of booster pack, and as you level save perks for "You are harder to hit while boosting in combat", but that doesn't exist (AFAIK) in Starfield, which makes it worse.
Engaging in activities is interesting, but you go somewhere, get XP, do 10% more damage, I don't think that is a satisfying character progression system. It's nothing like Dragon's Dogma where you build new classes and get new skills, or BG3 where you're defined by specific options you take.
2 - Dialogue trees and conversations are only PART of the narrative. Even excluding what you can say within dialogue in FO4, the game results in the same ending slide. So the narrative of the game doesn't change much, you can only fiddle with some aspects in the dialogue. I cannot remember a single interesting line, quote, or speech from any BGS games outside of Dagoth-Ur's speech, and "I'm watching you...scum" so conversations themselves seem week, but the grander scope they're contained in is what is appealing (to me at least).
4 - Not surprised, the game is a low level content farm with procgen garbage and radiant quests. Lowest common denominator gamer spending 1h walking around mindlessly killing people and getting random gear would love this because you don't have to engage in the story, world, or progression system in any manner that might be alienating.